I never thought this would have to be written out.
I became a pandemic yoga teacher, took my first teacher training in 2020 and finished in 2021. Before then I had not really been that active in the yoga community, or perhaps aware is a better word for it. I had been practicing on and off for 10 years and then I found Bikram yoga. And before you get all antsy about that, I stopped going as soon as I learnt about the rape culture and the predator the creator was.
And that was sort of how I began to realise that this world I had perceived as utopia, was filled with just as bad people as in the real world. And now, a few years in there are no differences in the worlds. Then the pandemic came.
Being in Sweden during this time has been different than most other countries, not because the virus was more lenient on us, but because the attitude of the government was different and therefor the attitude of the people became different. And for me, I was getting deeper and deeper into the world of yoga and wellness.
I quickly realised how my personal reaction to the pandemic and it’s severeness didn’t match what I saw or heard from most other people. A little back story, I am living by myself and when the pandemic began to really impact me was on the 12th of March 2020 when we were sent home to work, which I know is a privilege and I am so thankful that I have been able to do so all up until now. We were back in the office for a short bit from September to middle of December, now back home and scheduled to be back next week as all restrictions lift here in Sweden.
So I was at home, not really using public transport or seeing that many people as it was a pandemic and I didn’t live within walking distance from most of my family and friends. And I worried a lot those initial months, I was probably in a constant state of what the fuck! My mind has since moved on from that to spare me the trauma I guess.
I was a bit hesitant to the mask wearing at first, we didn’t really get told to wear them just to keep distance from each other, or us young and healthy could. The old folks we forced to stay inside for much of the reminder of their lives. More on that another time.
So there I was, a scared lonely person wanting to find something to do so I learnt more about yoga.
And it was both the best and the worst decision.
The best because I love it and I am good at teaching it.
The worst because I learnt about the yoga world, and that utopia I had pictured came crashing down fast.
And I am horrified each and every day by the folks that are “leaders” within the wellness space.
I am a person who cares about others, I always have. I was also aware of the scare from the last pandemic and the vaccine that was produced, most of it hearsay if I am honest. So when this vaccine got here I have to admit I felt a bit hesitant. Then I did my duty as a person living in this world and I listened to the researchers and medical staff who have been working on this for years.
I did not conduct my own research, I have absolutely zero amount of skills when it comes to medicine and how to produce a vaccine.
Just like when I fly an airplane, I trust the mechanics who checked the plane, the staff on ground, the staff in the airplane, the flight tower and the pilot.
We can never know everything, that is impossible. That is why we have experts and folks working in a million different fields and roles.
So I got vaccinated, felt great. I did not feel great about the anti vaccination talk in the wellness community. I still don’t every time I see a person using the practise of yoga as a way to put themselves above the collective, it makes me cringe and rage.
Not sure where I wanted to go with this.
Perhaps to just let you know a bit more about who I am. My values, I think you deserve that. You should know who you support, who you give money too.
Until next time,
Sara
